Organisation and you

I like to say that I'm "just a crummy programmer", humorously indicating that I don't have many strengths beside my own programming skill and a few things I archieved my programming/abstraction ability (like, for example, creating handmade pixel fractals). One the many things I'm just horrible at is organization. It's not that I can't remember dates or deadlines, I just need some place where I can read and remember them. So I'm trying to write it down all the time, which usually works - even for stuff that's for me but also for others. One can even tell me to write down stuff from meetings and events and I'll of course do and tell them later. Thus, I expect others to do so, too.

However, today was one of these days where I once again forgot that it's usually very rare that other people also have the same behaviour. And as result, I'll probably have to do my bachelor thesis in the next semester. I should've remembered my risc management lectures. I definitely failed at having a Plan B and now I am having the problems. It happens from time to time that my usual construct of Plan A, B and C does not cover those small but important events or organisational nature. Especially when expecting other people to be as reliable as me when I'm promising something. Friendships have broken in the past because of this. If something goes wrong, it's usually something vital and irreversible - for which I blame the one beeing responsible for. But the worst of all is that in such cases I should blame myself, too, because I didn't "risc-manage" everthing properly.

I'm not into project management, I'm not into organization or similar stuff but try to cover it by doing risc management for the stuff I do. But this does only work in the areas I'm proficient in and will result in fail and chaos otherwise. I'm just a programmer after all and this follows me everywhere. I not happy about it and the place for me is probably somewhere I can just focus on my work and getting things done properly.

All this won't stop me from getting an internship, of course. I should see it more positive - late bachelor means more internship time. Plus that I won't need to mention that my university expect paid internships, which are not part of game business' reality (and I don't expect money since I want experience and insight into professional game development). If my internship will be taken into account, I can still do another one and get even more insight or just lengthen the old one if that's possible. The studio I wanted to go to didn't answer so far and I doubt that they will do so. Darn, I was looking forward to it.

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