1.22.2012

I feel so bad about this

I feel so bad about including my roguelike raytracer. I mean it's exactly that kind of thing I simply didn't finish for a dozen of reasons but it always stays in my head and I can't get rid of it. It seems like a big wall behind which I can hide all the strange things I did between now and before, you know. All my optimization-for-nothing freakery, all the stupid "I wanna make this programming language" stuff and so on. Right now I feel that really, really need to make this renderer happen and look so damn good that it'l rock off your socks in the second you don't even know about it. But I don't have to time for that right now. Exams come, need to make my expose and my application for the internship and so on. I mean I have a million of reasons and you can't show your slowly revealing skill with a dozen of last-minute projects and one that doesn't even compile anymore cause it was so long ago that every exe or main file you had simply vanished. I only have this gif and I'm very sad about about not having done a proper demo where you could move around and so on. The point that the project WAS in such a state, I simply didn't think about that fact that I'll try to carry it THAT far! Man, I feel so bad for this. For the fact that I didn't start continuing it earlier, for the fact that I can only show an animated if as "how it looks", about the fact that I didn't start with 3D earlier and so on. I mean in end the generalized tech between games is almost always the same, but I didn't do anything for showing that for months, not to say YEARS. I stopped working on it when I started studying and now I have to pay it back with only having a few gif animations. It's so sad. I have to change that. I'll start using Visual Studio for my project, will get ITK to work with it and then finally pass this renderer to the glory I didn't give it years ago! But until I can do that, I'll have to cope with other stuff... It's so annoying. Though I'm looking forward to do an interesting internship, I can barely show off what I'm capable off but only how well I spend time getting good at C and C++, nothing else. Atleast the chess game viewer works fine. It was very easy, but the Qt runtime is too big for an email attachment... I'll need to use Dropbox for that I assume. Will also try to get a little demo OpenGL to run on Windows, this is definitely something that nice to present, too. Oh and this damn JavaME game. Since I don't have any emulator anymore and I doubt the dudes checking my application have one, I managed to let my friend take a few screenshots of it. So in all cases I got four things that actually look like something, one WIP project with as-is code and two projects that are actually visible live and in motion. Gotta say the chess stuff looks still nice but since the actually visible part was totally last minute, I'm not sure if they even look at the stuff I was originally working on (if they even take a look at it). It'll probably be just as worse as if I had nothing but code. Oh dear.

Whoever keeping track of this - wish me luck. I could use it.

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