12.27.2011

Offline repost: Christmas with Smokers

The last time I tend to see my parents as a necessary evil, mostly due to their constant tries to control the life of their children and even more constant smoking in the living rooms. Leaving a household with only government-guaranteed financial support like most students in Germany is difficult if the parents don't play the game, taking ages to fill the required forms I'd need to get out there. Therefore I'm now forced to stay over christmas until they move up their asses. And even today, on christmas day they weren't able to atleast stop their unfriendly bevahiour - if only for a day. Rants and stress-making because of the most unimportant things that totally don't matter on christmas as well as repeated redirecting of the fault until I am once again the evil that did everything wrong. A very stereotypical reaction I'm usually answering with saying or doing nothing because it doesn't matter what I do, I'll always end up beeing the evil component in the plot doing everything wrong. However, until 10:00 pm everything went nice and me and my sister were even able to occupy the usually smoke-ridden living rooms, watch a movie and have some happy christmas illusions. Well, short before the film went they started to get back to their typical ignorant behaviour and smoked. Damn, can't they even wait ONE DAY IN THE YEAR? Wait on the own children to have one of those more than rare moments where sitting with their parents would not attack their health? Atleast I was able to rescue my christmas presents before they'd smell like shit. It's simply terrible. Every second together in the same floor your smell worse. Put something in their room and it'll smeel for DAYS and beyond. It's like old women putting so much parfume on that they'll never smeel anything else but this parfume. Even if they didn't all day they could simply go out and do it there. But nooo, it's cold and we want to smoke in our den of ashes and fuck other people's lungs and noses even more! I have goddamn asthma, a cold and only want to have one nice evening with my parents, atleast one time until I'll move my home elsewhere. This place is not my home anymore. It's a temporary prison build on top of a nuclear power plant. I'd even call my university more home than this place have become over the years. On top of that, my Internet broke randomly and I have until the christmas are over cause I'm still someone not wanting to interfer several events at this time. So I'm writing this offline and hope these few days will be over quick so that I can get my net back and pick up the only distraction I'm this place: video games and movies. If I'd know that my internet would go off, I could simply put Steam to offline mode. But know, those stupid things always happen RANDOMLY. Darn. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible. My parents have some days left until I'll ask them again to fulfill their duties of simply filling out those GODDAMN FORMS.

Having no internet and thus no way to play a game or two with someone or simply talk about annoying everyday stuff just right now when you need is a rather... new experience to me. Well, since I had my problems with getting proper internet running for exactly this kind of stuff, the irony lies within in the fact that I now do have my problems leaving this state. Guess it's all quite human then? Probably... Anyway, I got enough Stargate episodes to make my time sweet enough until all the eventful days are over. And while watching so, I can work on my game engine once more. I hope that I can now, after creating a tasker system, a taskpool system and some other quite multithreaded stuffs, continue with the ressource loader system and then finally start running the whole actual game functionality behind. Some stuff just takes time. Applying new technology as well as finding a new home - whereever it might be.

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