9.13.2011

Stuck

Great, I'm stuck with this damn student job. Oh, how I love it! A stupid piece of hardware and even more stupid software with horrible documentation and examples beeing out of date since it was released. Is this what you stupid developers think is good? No, it isn't. I totally hate it and I want to drop it as soon as I can. I'm interested in anything like that anymore. I can work with a lot of things without any problem, but if the delivered examples do just not work and I have to consult someone just to stick my questions up his ass and get no actual solution except that I should download and use an additional piece of software not delivered with the one it is supposed to be combined with... ARRGGHHHH. I hate this damn place and I hate this damn hardware. I don't want to have anything to do with this in the future. I was such a stupid idiot to actually BELIEVE that something good could come out of there. Never do it again. Never. I'm somehow thinking about a different occupation than developing software or something similarly technical. Everything's about money, money, money. Who in hell needs money. If we wouldn't have money, we wouldn't need it anymore. I'm stuck in this stupid company with no access to anything that would currently interest me. I hoped the 3 months will pass quickly and that I'll find something else I can earn my money with later. I'm so pissed and kind of desperate right now, I really don't want to have to anything with using stupid libraries for stupid hardware. I'd rather go kill people for bucks instead of doing something like that. There isn't anything in this SDK for using the delivered libraries except some stupid Eclipse package shit. What's the advantage of having a simple set of header and binaries/sources? Right, you can just use them without any stupid stuff like frameworks or SDKs or whatever tool that only stands in your way. Why can't those stupid developers make better software for using it. Why are they so dump anc pickled, poisoned by company structures and whatever not. I already hate this damn piece of software and this damn company to my bones. It's not of use for any living person on this damn earth and I wish to annihilate some greater cities right now just for the sake of general revenge on humanity.

I mean really, what's the point of all this? A lecturere tells something about graphics programming and right now I'm sitting infront of a stupid thing nobody opened before me and now I have to do all the dirty work. Yeah sure, they actually told me this, but they didn't told me anything else. Not what they want to port, not what's really of interest, no, nothing. It's like hitting a sponge with a stick and hoping that gold comes out. And I'm not really who is the stick and who is the sponge either. You know what I want? I want a small team where everyones working together on a set goal and everyone helps eachother without any exception and not just saying that they do not have the time for it. What am I supposed to do now? I bet the support won't do anything and that it will work with those damn tools somehow. I believed that working with "professionals" will be different from the usual shit we during the lectures, but it's simply nothing else, only that you have to to rely even more an absolute isolation with no real orientation. If that's what the computer world is all about, then I don't want to be a part of it. I'm not interested in something like that - it harms anything I value and whatever not beyond. I'd be glad if I'd even get another thing to do, but I believe they just don't want to integrate me. And so far I having seen anything they actually programmed except shell scripts and some library uses. Great. Stuck in road of glue, hopefully it has limited house numbering and will be over then.

Oh man, I was so excited to finally get something to do that I can all day, go there and work on it - smiling and happy THAT I have something nice to work on for which I get money. But no, it's all completely different from what I deem the minimum level of acceptability for a longer cooperation. No, I'll be out there as soon as my contract ends or as soon as I see that I won't get anything done there. If there's nothing to do for me anymore, I'll simply quit. I'm not bound, I only have to I'm pissed and off. That's the least thing I can do to get back what my head lost during all those stupid hours of reading and reading and reading while not getting any grasp about why the fuck this is called and "SDK". Yeah, maybe I wasn't "professional" and "awesome" enough to do this on my own. But with no clean instructions about what actually to do - sorry, I'm not a magic bag you can open and get fairy dust out you can trickle on anything and it makes *POOF*, resulting in an automagically dual spell-wielding starship trooper with golden testicles. Because this is what they seem to want, because this is what I hear when they start to talk randomly.

I really don't want to experiment with anything anymore. I rather prefer something stable and solid that's not just a stupid "OH WE YET HAVE TO DEVELOP THIS KIND OF HARDWARE SO THAT IT CAN BE USED WITHOUT ANY OLD SHIT". This turns soooo damn off. I'm thinking about going back to normal Desktop software... This is always what I did and wasn't even able to do something proper with this LEGO chip. Goddamnit, those bastard embedded software and hardware designers really are idiots.

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