Thoughts about motivation, making things different from how they feel
Those days when you think you archieve nothing and everything is going downhill inside of you not rarely make you do something completely different if you can. Sometimes it's good and equally often not. I tend to see those points as "external views", as you're then able to watch from a point of different from while you were doing it. It only happens if you do something specific too often and when the results can't keep your expections from them. It feels empty and you start abandoning or letting other peoples work on it until you find it better. But it can also be a marker to you. A marker to tell you that not the intentation was wrong, but the way of trying to archieve it has altered, in a bad way. One wise person once said that the way is the goal. He was right, and everyone working long enough one something to call himself experienced will know that. The question is not why it doesnt work, it's rather were it started to not work and where it felt differently. Once one remembers those points, it important to pin down them and technically start from there. You already know the way in the wrong direction, know you can choose another one. Every computer does it when checking layered or tree structures. We programmed him to do so, but we didn't understand how true and learnful this process is. To decide between right and wrong, we first need to take wrong pathes. That's the way and that's the goal. It doesn't matter in what order or speed your walk along the street of branches - it only matters how long you can remember and learn from them.