3.22.2011

Final decision

I took some minutes to think about what I tried to accomplished the last weeks, not to say months and the immediate success by choosing simple, procedural approaches is a bit creepy.
I invested so much time in making those solid blocks of code and object-related things that I totally forgot about simply coding stuff to make it work. I can remember the time I coded solely in Purebasic and started to learn C/C++ effectively cause I wanted more speed. I didn't need any objects or classes cause I was able to figure out stuff without it. I don't say I'll completely drop classes and so cause so much code insertions depends on them, but I'll try to not focus on overly multifunctional ones but rather on them for syntactic sugar or simply only memory allocation. What's the result of forcing a concept everywhere? For instance, Java's forced OOP, Lisp's bracketeered and C's strictness (though the latter is more due to C beeing not as updated as C++). I'm sick of this. I wasted the whole term break by doing stuff that was just garbage in practical use, confusing me to no end what to use and how to design my programs. I lost identity in all of this and the only thing floating in my mind is to create a mixture of many, many functions put in nested namespaces and a few classes for construction/deconstruction of memory class.
I can't help, I see no use in OOP anymore since I began this immensively shitty quest. Everything important to me now turns out to be something I can only archieve with inserting whole code blocks (emulated using function classes/class functions) which isn't possible without creating a class for each function. I miss something inbetween, something that's like passing declarations for what to call rather than from adresses and numbers of other functions. More than before I long for something that's simply not stupid in design. I don't want to do my game with anything other than this inbetween. Is it normal to not beeing able to find something like that?

I feel like falling into a scorpion pit made to capture souls like on to long journey for a programming language suitable to fulfill my very own needs. I'm tempted to completely drops everything that's causing me headaches but that won't work at all. For example, I can't just drop classes completely as I'd need still need to find a way of inserting inline functions. However, naming everything as structs, disabling rtti, holding optimization level on the max should and making only some exceptions for thing like direct insertion using class functions should do the work, or not? *sigh* I'm depressed. I'm totally depressed. World's playing dart with me and I'm the little bug crawling on bullseye during a world champion's shootout.
May it be better for me drop even more and go back to normal C? Maybe I limit myself to fixed data types and so? No. I don't want to. I'm not soo desperate to do something like that. What about the work I'd save with templates? No, that's all just plain old bullshit. Seems I'm the only person on fucking earth to be angry enough about programming to not really do it atm while still beeing quite knowledgable and insighted about it.

Fuck, there must be a strict concept to suite my needs. Even it's just to use typical OOP for memory allocation and deallocation. I better stop coding for two or three weeks and focus on my last exam while playing games and watching movies.

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