10.15.2010

Also too far in thinking

*sigh* I don't know why I always think too far if somebody mentions a project involving technology I always want to push far beyond it's limits. I don't think we will create any complex project for this class. The lecturer keeps saying "games" all the time and said we should make a small if we want as a project. If I hear, I always hear complex systems with map and levels, a hero walking around, several objects, animations etc... I got too far in my imagination and totally forgot that both guys I'm working with do simply not know to archieve stuff like that. I thought now it's getting serious. But no, it can't get serious. There were studentes who did whole games, cause they were working as video game programmers oder designers, professionally! Of course do they have the knowledge to do this - I could also do it, but either alone or in a team with other people having the same experience. And since this isn't really normal and the lecturer also introduced a code limit, he clearly shows that there's a specific treshold to mark stuff that is totally not necessary for a good mark. And since we'll have to limit the stuff we're working on to a degree of simplicity they can work with, I shouldn't think about stuff that is more than trivial to me. But I'm afraid I'll finish my part too quick and will get bored soon, eager to improve every other element to get a cool level of polishing and code perfection.

This is not only my project, I need to learn to cope with this. That is hard, really hard. Especially if you finally now how simple you can apply the stuff you learned to your existing codebase.

I'm close to crying from the insight, I don't want to make a silly lowy project. I want to work fulltime on games! I'm close to pimp my engine so that it features a perspective mode, just because it's 3D then. But well, maybe I don't need to make a game with them. Maybe we decide to do something different, like a 3D visualizer of something. I could imagine a simple application moved into 3D space. Why don't we do something like that, eh? I don't want to waste my first 3D project with a crap game... I... I can't stand something like that. I'm a perfectionist, I don't WANT a something crappy. Especially not as my first 3D application.

So silly, so stupid. I need to hinder them from making a game. No crap games, just NO. If they really want, they can make this shit later. Not me, NOT ME.

We should execute all perfectionist after birth, so they don't need to endure their horrible live later.

No comments: