2.27.2010

He's dead, almost

I hate hardware. I really hate it because I can't understand and combine it. I mean I learned how to plug in a new graphics or sound card, how to add more RAM and so on... but in the end it's only a set of actions I can remember if there's a problem. Two days ago I became infected by virus (whithout my knowledge), giving a bluescreen everytime you try to start windows. There was also a power outage and I thought it was a hardware failure. So, 2 days later (today) my dad cleaned the PC (he's an expert in things like that) and found and deleted a virus my scanner didn't detect. Fine. I installed the graphics and sound card again and connected them to the external power supply (I have a mountain of cables on my desk). Well, it didn't work. Somehow. And guess happened? So many so typical things. Like connecting the card wrong and confusing cables. After several tries and many failures it began to smoke. Yes, smoke. I finally destroyed my some parts of my computer. And I don't even know why and how! It's demonic! Really. I never do it right when it comes to hardware. It's just something I never get working right. Today is a bad day and I hope I can find a way to backup my harddrive. At the moment I'm using my laptop, but I need my source codes for working. Oh, hate such things! I began to program just because I wanted to make video games, no strange computer systems! I'm not a technology freak! I think the best is to return to what I wanted to make with computers: video games. Also, I think I don't need powerful hardware anymore. I mean yes, I like all the awesome 3D games, but that's not me. It's not the guy I was before. All this "upgrade your setup for the latest games" stuff came over me like a cloud of paralyzing poison. I mean I have great consoles, a way to create my own video games and that's everything I need to care about. There is no reason for me to be interested in doing everything right, like assembling PCs. It's not my thing and I won't bother about assembling my own PC again. It's too much. It's not my way, it's wrong. I'm getting depressive. I want my blackbox back. I'm only a human and can't think in thousand different ways!

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