Time for three letters

Today is a free day! I went to school and a teacher told me and my class members that this day is free for us, because mostly all teachers were ill or had something similar, illness-like. So I became a little bit berserk (this education was my own choice - so why be happy about cancellation?) and tried to practice programming. Man, that was boring. So I decided to get libraries and tools and started looking for things that can ease my workload (plus figuring out where I could use it and why...) One of the things I realised is that programming experiments and engines tests SHOULD BE such and not a complete game. A thing I had to learn on the hard way...

However, I'm right happy about that fact! Rifling Sourceforge forge is quite fun - there is so much to read and find out! I'm wondering, why hell I haven't done this before... Lazyness? Frustration? Stubborness? Or... Fear? Fear of having to much stuff I can't install because I haven't learned it, yet? This would be worse than trying it! But actually it isn't like that. I'm very experimental these days... reading every code and documentation I can. One of the periodes a programmer has to read a lot, while keeping the focus infront of his inner eye. I'm so lucky I have the time for such a reading excess! Primarilly I thought its just one of the shitty, unprepared freetime days, but naaaah... it turned out better. I sometimes hope get those days in future, too - learning and learning when I can, not when I should... Wishes! Wipe yourself away, little cloud of dreams! Using the possiblity now is the way to go. Making the most of now would someone say.

Oh, and I got my brandnew IBM laptop battery today! That's fine: now I can program during school :) . I hope the batterys lifetime and capacity can hold much longer than my current battery (5 years old, second hand laptop) does it...


Nowadays' Schizophrenia

Maybe creative chaos is a good thing, but I've never heard or creative lazyness or something similar. I'm currently in such a phase were I'm starting to make something but then loosing interest in it very fast. This can't be a good thing, probably because of my conflict between design and programming. I know - programming is also a kind of design. But it's still more technically. I thought about getting a scriptable game making program to have fast and nice results (which would increase both my standard technical and gamedesign skills). "Thats cheating!" the programmer in me cries. "It works... and you'll get fast results!" the gamedesigner replies. Schizophrenia was always a speciality of mine. But in a good way. That means the programmers will stop the gamedesigner if things go technical impossible and the other way around. Interdisciplinary development! This is good in general, but nowadays it can't be worse - because I can't do anything without switching to another work while having the current one unfinished! It's insane. I hope this gets a bit more stable the next days!

But school is a bit hard and I need all my nerves for good marks, so this is just a big load of shit. I should start with something easy today. Maybe looking for a simple gamedesigner tool. For free. Ouuuhhhh!


At the end of Bioshock

Oh, how I love this great game. Bioshock was and is just awesome. However, I played it through and got managed to rescue every little sister in the game! It wasn't that hard, really. Its simple to play, but hard to resist... The last weeks I played it every night. The one thing I don't like at all is the waiting for next parts of this series... One game I will never forget, especially because it's amazing detailed and beautifully mastered - all these posters and art d├ęco stuff.... Gaaahh, I need to get the next Bioshock in my hands... Even if I have to do the internet activation shit again. But all this SecuROM activation stuff gives it a special feeling, lets say the feel of a "finished" game - protected by technologies that gives this game the attention is deserves.


Kick Maths, Love Logic

Never in my entire I had any fun with maths. Neither in programming, I'm more "logical" and do math only if necessary. I like to avoid dozens of formulas, instead I use bit shifters, logical stuff and alghorythms. Today I realised all this stuff gets NEVER rarely recognized by mathematicians. OK - maybe its more their vocation. Combined with programming its just horrible. See graphic cards: extreme fast, high level maths! Hehe, and thats the point: It is hardware. Hardware with pre-made mathematical operations that would be extremely slow when rendering via software... Math isn't good for realtime stuff, no-no. Thats my personal experience. It CAN speed up your stuff, but only if used to REDUCE required performance and ressources... And they just don't get why so many calculations are bad for normal programming. Recently I've "observed" my maths & informatics teacher when talking about programming. He's such a fool! He REALLY believes math is the most important thing for good programming. Holy hog, where in hell he has got his license? I'm thinking about the different views and experience from other developers... My guess that one of biggest differences in code content can be found between mathematicians and software engineers - both do think they're better than the opponent. But it depends on the context, hu? I believe it's better to put a maths geek in front of a "shader devkit". Imho, he will do an excellent job in programming shaders for you're latest 3D games, especially because graphic cards are MADE for math-intensive stuff. Otherwise we should avoid giving them a normal programmer job. I've seen a 2 pages long code just for drawing a simple grid in a function plotter. Insane! This can be done in a few lines, even less with recursive stuff.

I just don't like them. And maybe I dislike physicist, too. Because they're doing it in the same way, of course!


Burn, baby

This week was horrible. I never had something more comparable like that these days! From Monday to Wednesday I lost my programming energy totally and started to do some more gamedesign stuff than usual... Thursday I had an amazingly annoying discussion with a classmate of mine about all the things games should (not) be. Such a 3D whore, during the talk I realised he is one of these loudmouthed crack addicts for which modern EA sport games are made. Bah, I hate crackers. Scums of the universe. Want everything by paying nothing! That was the point were I silently decided to strike out all my wishes for a professional fulltime game programmer. I don't want to put all my effort and love into a game that gets cracked, buyed & reselled on its release date! He is such a fool to say "he pays the industry back what he thinks they should earn from him". Can you believe that? I, as a video game lover, do buy all games on my own. I've never used cracks or such things - just to ensure the creators effort is payed well. Some people just don't want to pay what should be payed, even if they want to play these games! Gahh, sometimes I wish we had introduced the burning of crackers.

I ever thought gamedesign is a thing that could break my heart one day, maybe its allready broken... Continuing my informatics education is the way to go. I love games and I love making games (even if they take looooong), but I dont want have my visions destroyed by stupic customers and fool-blinded publishers. Making the games that are bad enough to get cracked, eh? They have no sense of honor, spread they're blood! Oh, I'm talking like Klingon, lets end this desaster post here.